I packed my grown-up stuff wrong

Over the years, I amassed a decent collection of… Adult toys. They’re fun like prizes inside cereal boxes without the torture of slogging through a pound of wheat. They come in such pretty colors and fun shapes. When it was time to move into my first apartment as a single mom, it scared me to…

What?!

How to spam your own inbox with amateur porn

One afternoon, in the throes of caffeinated boredom, an idea for a joke Craigslist post hit me in a flash. “Are you better than my dildo?” would be the title. It was a sweet little list of things that a real boyfriend could do, like bring home dinner, call me in the afternoon just to say…

What not to wear in front of the popular girls

This story took place before everyone carried cameras in their pockets. If that hadn’t been the case, I might never have lived this down. Right before my sixth grade, my father remarried, and we moved to a new town. This town included a dance studio, a place to fulfill my weird childhood dream of learning…